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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his actions, making him especially susceptible to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they feel beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Although a significant majority of people found to have the condition are males, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” notes a young adult who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number